this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
