The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
