Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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