It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
