Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
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