I must be too annoying 4 u.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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