Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
