i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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