i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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