This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
