Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
