my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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