He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
