Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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