So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
