I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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