I hate your face
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
