He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
