Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
