Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
