i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
