The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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