I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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