saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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