Duck Duck Cougar?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
