His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
