Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize