Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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