Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
