it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
