Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
