i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
