my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
