just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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