I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
