This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
