i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
