I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
