Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
