after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
