Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
