We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
