something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Of course I have a pirate flag
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
