K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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