you turned your livingroom into a bong?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
