i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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