I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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