i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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