people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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