I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
