idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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