I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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