toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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