We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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