i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
