I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
