she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The feeling are messing with the penis
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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