I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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