It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
