I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
