are you still at the devil's house?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
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