are you still at the devil's house?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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