She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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