I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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