On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
