Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
