I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I think your dad took our porno
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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