i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
