The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
