we have pet lesbian snakes
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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